It's Better than Eating Alone

Tuesday, November 29, 2005


That was one of the longest weekends ever. So the church had a campmeeting, and we had to start last Thursday. Imagine traveling the islands in a barge being towed by a tugboat. Yup. What fun.

My roomie and I were telling each other that Wednesday how we didn't like at all to go. It wasn't much of an adventures, because we've been to better islands before, and camping out for three days? Had to do it.

So we went there, and we beached the whole barge (it can carry two dump trucks) and the tourists on the island (mostly taiwanese I think). It kinda looked like a Normandy storming, like you see in the WWII movies. We emptied the island for ourselves in less than half an hour. Tee-hee.

Problem was, I didn't bring a tent for that actual event, because I've always loved going outside to sleep (the breeze is really great). It rained everyday however, but thank God for the sun cause it never ceased to shine afterwards. We had huge tents though, the ones used as a meeting place. And I had a whole tent for myself because I ran the sound system (which I tried to guard from the elements). The system sat on a very sturdy wooden table (trivia: this same table was donated to the church by Survivor: Palau, after they've used it in the show). Guess what, it made the perfect bed for me for three straight nights.

Activities included fishing, swimming, fishing, swimming, eating, playing volleyball (I don't know how to play, but I played anyway, got me some good scorings too, hehe), playing table tennis, swimming some more, and of course the meetings. We even did a surfing route with the Pastor's little boat (now THAT was exciting).

So I had four days out of the town, out of the school, spending the Thanksgiving holiday on a neat island, and I couldn't ask for more. But I could have. The Pastor's in-laws are here and they were invited by the Senator (a member of our church) to go on a fishing trip at the northern part of the islands. Now if you were invited to the northern part of the islands here, it would be the best invitation you could ever have, because you know the expense and effort needed just to get you out at SEA is way much. Of course, I got the invitation, but they were gonna go on a Monday. Monday, my friends, meant school. Unless by any chance of fate the school got cancelled, I had my dream torn in front of me. After a last jump atop the barge into the water, it was time to go on a Sunday noon.

Monday. Classes are cancelled at 8AM because there was a fire near the school and the smoke was everywhere.

Yup, looooooongggg weekend indeed.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Reading your BLOG again

How long has it been. Two months, I think. I've been pointing my browsers to other sites.

Deep inside I'm stopping myself (and I still wonder why). Maybe because I'm phobic because of the last entry I actually read. Still leaves after images in my eyes and raises my few growing body hairs. In fact, my browser at home doesn't remember your blog address anymore.

But now I'm reading again. Those same feelings, of course, just won't go. It was a challenge, whether or not to keep my last blog running. Finally, you won over me. And I'm the one who's trying to get back.

I still love the way you write. Very picturesque, even without the actual pictures. Or maybe its just me and what I'm trying to imagine you out of. Curse the day blog became an easy space for anti-depression.

It's not that this come-back practice is bad, it's just not the same. Although pictures paint a thousand words, one word can paint a million pictures. (I don't even know what that means)

Surely, there is more to this.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

A Blip in the Radar

She's getting married. I stood back from my monitor while reading that e-mail. And then, a smile.

You were a close friend to me, very close, I would readily admit. Although at times there were awkward moments, seeing you crying, in your tantrums, I could just smile now at your youth and naive ventures. But now you tell me, you're getting married. That, in the words of Peter Pan, is a happy thought.

So let me tell you things I've never had, in gratitude. I've never told you how much you've helped me through lonesome times, when things became empty and dead. Thank you for thinking that a song you would never understand fully was one of the best things you've ever heard and consistently kept in your heart. Thank you for reminding me that life isn't always just about the balance between work and play, but for the melodramas that will make it more challenging. Thanks for missing me when others wouldn't dare, and for making sure that I saw what it meant. Thanks for accepting my humor, even to the point of telling people that you loved me (and again I smile). You did love me, as a friend. And so did I.

Sorry for not taking you out to eat more often, or making you sing the songs you know. Sorry for making you endure a crowd that would mistake you for some other nationality, or why they would ask you a million times where you come from. Sorry for not hugging you a lot more when you needed them most, when I would take for granted how you'd soothe me with your company. I'm sorry for not being who you wanted me to be.

Congratulations, Suleima, for this big step in your life. I pray for fullness, peace, and most of all, love, for a stronger relationship, under the guidance of God.

I will miss you.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Chance in Life

I was telling my roomate last night how awfully tired I was. I couldn't figure it out, I said, and then it dawned on me. I haven't been having much fun lately.

My lab is now equipped with a DSL line (and trust me, it ain't fast enough). I've been trying to configure and reconfigure it becuase the speed is definitely not THAT exciting. I even have sleepless nights from the last few days just thinking about what's supposed to be done to make the speed faster. And to top all that, I've been downloading a copy of Linux for two days straight now! (poor computer only had a restart today).

So I guess I should give my computer a chance in life. I promise to let it rest once Linux has been fully downloaded (that would be, hmmmm, 40 hours in total, hehe).

I guess I should give myself a chance in life too. How about a long weekend on Thanksgiving? Hmmm, that would be very, very nice. (We do have a long weekend on Thanksgiving next week).

There's another activity coming up though. And guess when it is. Thanksgiving weekend.


Friday, November 11, 2005

The place is called The Taj, one of the lovely restaurants here that serves Indian food. The occasion was an uncelebrated birthday. Don Julie, who teaches 7th grade and is my classroom neighbor, dared to tell me that I should have at least done something for my birthday, and was making sure it came true. So along with roomie Isaac, she said she'll take me out to eat the next day. I wasn't planning to say yes, saying that I was really busy (and really I was) with installing the new DSL network I have in my lab. Roomie Isaac persuades, and so I simply said, "If the network will work by 5:00PM tomorrow, you'll take us out to The Taj!" She said, 'sure.'

I got it working by 10AM that same morning, although some rough edges here and there, but it was working. Isaac of course, was a great help. And so, when DJ passed by my room, it was set. Dinner.

The evening was great, no rains, although it was drizzling that afternoon. I still had some students and people greeting me a belated happy birthday, and so I was smiling this time. Isaac made sure though, that my mind was not preoccupied.
It wasn't my first time eating there, but it was my first time eating there with a smaller group of three. I couldn't pronounce the dishes in the menu, but I have fallen in love with the steamed rice that they serve (I had a taste of that with a catering they did with one of our staff gatherings). So I had to go for a vegetarian entree and rice. I had this peas and mushroom with Indian sauce dish, and let me tell you, its still making my mouth water up to now. Isaac and DJ had their own, no rice though. They had the nan instead, unleavened bread that had different flavors. (They were good too).

DJ, as I remembered it, promised me dessert. So we ordered a couple. She told the waiter early on that it was my birthday (though he never realized that it was WAS my birthday), so apparently (it was probably a manager of some sort) when we finally ordered dessert, my order was from the house! A small tear came out from the corner of my eye, and Isaac blurts out, "You didn't expect that, did you? See, you're smiling!" I was. I ordered a vanilla ice cream with peaches and strawberry syrup, cherry on top, with some almond and raisin toppings. It was wonderful. I regret not having brought my camera for it. Isaac ordered a multi-scoop of ice cream kind of thing, and DJ didn't have any (just picked up some helpings from our ice cream) because she was too full. It was really a happy time for me, and I thank DJ for making it happen. I am really mean to her sometimes, but that's just the way I am. (teehee) She's cool, really. And I am glad roomie is there to make sure I had fun too. For an after birthday, I think it was a really wonderful way to get me back to this track of life that I almost forgot about.

Love y'all.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

I do remember last year, 2004, I posted on my old weblog about a floor full of cards that some of my first grade students made for me. This year, a class actually made a whole poster and sang to me by my classroom door. This was the same year my relationship with one still significant to me ended. The way I was looking at those cards with a broken heart, and the way this year has been, it feels even worse.

My companions here ask why today I didn't even do anything special for my birthday. Why I had to engross myself with tons of work. I never really asked myself that question. I probably have the tendency to just repeat my mistakes and make choices out of what I think would be convenient and unemotional. The result - a day that went by with well wishers I simply smiled at but ended up doing my daily routines with.

I did get e-mails, and they were received with great thanks. I'm glad I still do have friends out there. Of course, deep within these, my thoughts, I still get the periodic, "Why didn't she e-mail me, I thought we were friends," or "It's no special having my birthday without her," kind of thoughts. Then again, what the hey! Life goes on, and on.
I still do remember a lot of things from the past years. Twenty seven is still a long way behind.